LAUGH, LOVE & LIVE

All my life, I thought something was wrong with me. As a child, I was constantly reprimanded… told I should be doing this or that, told that whatever I did wasn’t enough or wasn’t right. In school, strict teachers reinforced that same message. Except for one or two, most of them used harsh words, even beatings. Slowly, I began to believe: I am not good. I am not enough. I shouldn’t speak my mind. If I do, it will be wrong. That belief shaped how I lived. If I wasn’t good, then I wanted to know: what is good? What is perfect? That question became my silent companion. It drove me to seek answers in so many places, through many people, through ideas and mystical promises. But no matter where I turned, I still felt stressed, unworthy, incomplete. Then something began to shift. I started dropping things, beliefs, concepts, even the mystical quests that once gave me hope. Little by little, I let go. And with each letting go, the ground beneath me became more bare. Now, I find myself ...

  This morning the trees were swaying in the strong wind, clouds moving fast, and birds rushing for shelter  like the world was on fastforward. I realized my thoughts are the same when I’m stressed or pushed out of my comfort zone. Maybe that’s why people say we don’t control thoughts, they just move through us like creation always growing and flowing. After noticing this, I suddenly felt a state with no thoughts. Not exactly thoughtless, but just being there … aware of everything around me, watching, without the usual noise of “I should do this, I should do that.” It was so different from how my mind usually feels every day. I also noticed the pattern I built within me  always trying to fix, solve, move, listen, push, or do something for myself or for others. The moment I felt I didn’t have to do anything, it was different. I’ve had glimpses of this before, but this time it touched deeper. I think the reason I’ve been restless to keep doing is because deep down I felt ...

  In recent years, words like “narcissist” and “narcissistic trauma” have entered everyday conversations. They are spoken in families, friendships, and even in casual social media posts. While these terms can sometimes help us recognize unhealthy patterns, they can also be quick judgments that reduce people to labels. The problem with labels is that they oversimplify complex human beings. A person may show certain traits self-focus, defensiveness, or withdrawal and immediately, others may conclude, “Ah, narcissist!” Without realizing it, that person is then cast out, made into an “other.” But life is not that black and white. Every one of us carries scars from life. Some are personal wounds, while others come from generations before us. When we call someone “narcissistic,” we are not only pointing at them we are also, in a way, pointing at their parents, their grandparents, and the struggles of their lineage. Because no one becomes who they are in isolation. Rather than pushi...

Today I found myself letting go of all the concepts I have carried for as long as I can remember ; enlightenment, Jeevan Mukti, kundalini, past lives, future lives, karma, vasanas, gurus, strict rituals… every single one. This didn’t happen in just a single day. For years I have been contemplating these ideas, noticing how some of them even made me judge others, which I deeply disliked. Whenever a concept made me feel separate from my fellow beings, or superior to them, it felt wrong sadly 😢 and little by little, I kept dropping them. One by one, I let go. Today, I felt ready to release even the idea of “soul.” I don’t want to identify with that or any other label. I don’t want to say “spirit,” or “freedom,” or give this any name at all. I just want to BE simply be. And in that, I feel light. I feel free 💛. For once, I noticed there was no anger or irritation rising in me toward anyone or anything. Just a quiet sense of being. Transalation in Tamil  நான் நினைத்துப் பார்க்கிறேன், ...