My Love For All Remains The Same

 As I was growing up, I saw everyone as my own. I didn’t know who was “blood” and who wasn’t . I simply wanted to talk to everyone I met. Even elders felt like friends to me. Sometimes that was mistaken as disrespect, and I slowly learned to tone down my voice.

Over time, I shrank. I couldn’t openly express my love and affection the way I once did, because everyone had to face their own struggle, and our expectations didn’t always match. Somewhere along the way, I began to hold back thinking my love might feel too much, or my presence might come at the wrong time. The silence that replaced it hurt me deeply.

Occasionally, I saw the dark side of myself  moments when I hated someone from that same space of love, because of the things I went through. The pain, misunderstandings, and exhaustion had built quiet walls inside me, and sometimes that heaviness spoke louder than my heart. Looking back, I see that those reactions came from a space of unclarified self  a place in me that hadn’t yet learned how to transform pain into understanding.

I would withdraw and cry quietly because what I felt inside and how I behaved outside were not the same.

I have always had a large circle the family I was born into and the family I met along the way. Despite everything, this life has given me good people souls who showed up, stayed for a season or a lifetime, and helped me see myself in new ways. For me, it feels almost illegal to see non blood related people as “not my own.” Some I lost contact with, some I had to disconnect from, and others chose to stay away. A few I let go to prevent things from turning ugly.

Yet, through it all, my wish remains the same that everyone experiences this life to its fullest. I have tried to be there for people whenever they needed me, though I know I didn’t always manage to. Still, even if my gestures went unnoticed, I always prayed silently for them.

If my actions or silence ever hurt anyone, I am truly sorry. Sometimes I stay at a distance because I fear getting too close might make others uncomfortable. But the truth is my love for all remains the same.